To My Friend's Bitter Ex-BF

My dear friend's bitter ex-BF,

How are you doing? I heard from my friend that you are doing really good, and I am happy to hear that. Seriously.

I also heard about you and my friend. You know...the break-up.
I am happy to hear that too.

For the longest time, my dear friend has been dating a monster. Oh wait, I promised her I wouldn't be mean. Let me sugar-coat that.
My friend has been dating someone who has taken her for granted, at least most of the time. Despite this not-so-favorable situation, she has done her best to keep the relationship. In all fairness, I think you have done your part too. In my observation, however, it was not enough simply because you chose to be selfish.

It came to a point that her friends (that's us) and family cannot keep her away, despite knowing how emotionally-abused my friend was. We couldn't stop her because that's love...it lets you make crazy decisions sometimes, but it is her choice and we respect that.

You were given several opportunities to become a "better-half" but the negatives outweigh the positives. Never have we seen our friend put in so much effort just to keep the relationship; one time, when you broke up and she started dating again, we were happy for her because we thought she realized that it's a big world and she would surely meet someone who would appreciate and take good care of her...but then she chose to get back with you. Shouldn't that have been a wake up call for you? It was a very good opportunity to show her that she didn't make a bad choice. But things seemed to have ben the same. We heard the same stories, same issues, and everything. My friend even refused to talk about her issues with you anymore, thinking we have become sick and tired of her stories. But that's what friends are for (so keep smiling, keep shining, my friend); friends are supposed to be there whenever a friend is down. and up too. And oh, did you hear that one of our friends bluntly declared that she would never attend our friends wedding if ever you were wed. I know that's not a good thing to say, but that's the effect of what you have been doing all this time to our friend. However, I think you don't care about our opinions so drop it.

Anyway, we have never seen our friend this happy in a long time...and this time, with someone who would hopefully be someone you never seemed to be with our friend---a real man.

I have said my piece. If you want to hear a thousand other words from people who care about our friend more than you ever did, then continue to be bitter.

PS.
Do you really need to get your stuff back? In the end, it seems like you are still being very consistent. I suggest our friend should send you a bill too.
I'm sure you would want that, wouldn't you?

And to my friend, I'm sorry but it's a little challenging to sugar-coat an ampalaya candy.